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What people are saying
about us...
I really enjoy working with him
(Gary Avischious and
CoachingSchool.org) and think his
message is strong. We always get a
little initial resistance from our
coaches, thinking it's going to be a
"touchy-feely" message, but it's
great when he uses examples and
role plays of coach and parent
behavior that 90 percent of
them do, that have the
opposite impact of what they
intended and how to reverse
those behaviors to the
benefit of the kids and the
performance of the team.
Jay Clark
Executive Director
Gold Crown Foundation Basketball
a 5,000+ participant competitive
basketball league
about us...
I really enjoy working with him
(Gary Avischious and
CoachingSchool.org) and think his
message is strong. We always get a
little initial resistance from our
coaches, thinking it's going to be a
"touchy-feely" message, but it's
great when he uses examples and
role plays of coach and parent
behavior that 90 percent of
them do, that have the
opposite impact of what they
intended and how to reverse
those behaviors to the
benefit of the kids and the
performance of the team.
Jay Clark
Executive Director
Gold Crown Foundation Basketball
a 5,000+ participant competitive
basketball league
This is a portion of a review of a speech given by
CoachingSchool.org Founder and Head Coach, Gary Avischious, by
a parent during a parents meeting. It offers some insights into a
parents way of looking at their child.
Although I had never thought of it that way, Avischious pointed out
that the concept of "Winning" is largely a parent thing. Obviously it is
important that we instill a winning attitude, and winning certainly
makes competition more fun, but think about this as an example:
What if a bunch of kids get together to play a pickup game of
basketball after school (that used to happen a few years ago). With no
parents, coaches, or officials around, they begin playing a game with
no set plays, no pre-determined positions, and (most-important)
absolutely no "advice" from spectators...because there aren't any.
What will happen? Well, they'll probably have a great time, get
along well with the 'other' team, and they'll probably learn from their
own mistakes. Two other phenomena will also probably take place:
First, they'll probably get tired of keeping score, and will just play for
the fun of the competition. Second, they'll probably keep trading
players in a constant effort to "make the game even." What does that
tell us about kid's interest in "Winning"?
I thought about this concept a lot yesterday, when our daughters
played two great games and one lousy one. It was easy to be
supportive and cheering during the two good performances; a lot
tougher to be supportive when they were stinking up the place. As
parents, though, isn't it during just that kind of game that we need to
challenge ourselves, rise to the occasion, and be supportive, upbeat
adults? Do they really need us to point out how badly they're
playing? We are raising intelligent and thoughtful daughters, all of
whom were probably keenly aware of the lopsided score and their own
role it.
This is tough to admit, but when you come right down to it, many of
our negative comments arise out of our own embarrassment at our
child's performance. Yep, I'm 'embarrassed' to admit it, but don't we
sometimes find ourselves personally embarrassed when our child is
playing poorly? When my daughter misses ten layups in a row, I don't
groan or make negative comments because of my grave concern for
the outcome of the game, or my touching concern for the feelings of
my daughter...nope, I'm personally embarrassed, and wondering what
the other parents are thinking. How screwed up is that? I imagine
that my daughter is well aware, at that point, that her layups are
awful. Do I really think that my daughter needs me to tell her, during
the game or after, about missing layups and not practicing them
regularly? Will my hollering suddenly cause the ball to go into the
basket?
John C
Parent
Colorado Springs
CoachingSchool.org Founder and Head Coach, Gary Avischious, by
a parent during a parents meeting. It offers some insights into a
parents way of looking at their child.
Although I had never thought of it that way, Avischious pointed out
that the concept of "Winning" is largely a parent thing. Obviously it is
important that we instill a winning attitude, and winning certainly
makes competition more fun, but think about this as an example:
What if a bunch of kids get together to play a pickup game of
basketball after school (that used to happen a few years ago). With no
parents, coaches, or officials around, they begin playing a game with
no set plays, no pre-determined positions, and (most-important)
absolutely no "advice" from spectators...because there aren't any.
What will happen? Well, they'll probably have a great time, get
along well with the 'other' team, and they'll probably learn from their
own mistakes. Two other phenomena will also probably take place:
First, they'll probably get tired of keeping score, and will just play for
the fun of the competition. Second, they'll probably keep trading
players in a constant effort to "make the game even." What does that
tell us about kid's interest in "Winning"?
I thought about this concept a lot yesterday, when our daughters
played two great games and one lousy one. It was easy to be
supportive and cheering during the two good performances; a lot
tougher to be supportive when they were stinking up the place. As
parents, though, isn't it during just that kind of game that we need to
challenge ourselves, rise to the occasion, and be supportive, upbeat
adults? Do they really need us to point out how badly they're
playing? We are raising intelligent and thoughtful daughters, all of
whom were probably keenly aware of the lopsided score and their own
role it.
This is tough to admit, but when you come right down to it, many of
our negative comments arise out of our own embarrassment at our
child's performance. Yep, I'm 'embarrassed' to admit it, but don't we
sometimes find ourselves personally embarrassed when our child is
playing poorly? When my daughter misses ten layups in a row, I don't
groan or make negative comments because of my grave concern for
the outcome of the game, or my touching concern for the feelings of
my daughter...nope, I'm personally embarrassed, and wondering what
the other parents are thinking. How screwed up is that? I imagine
that my daughter is well aware, at that point, that her layups are
awful. Do I really think that my daughter needs me to tell her, during
the game or after, about missing layups and not practicing them
regularly? Will my hollering suddenly cause the ball to go into the
basket?
John C
Parent
Colorado Springs
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